Black Taxis and even more secrets.
I left the spider today, at 5 pm after a rather *nasty* 6 classes, including 4 in a row from 1 to 5, which leaves one a permitted 56 minutes per class. Time to go and place the whiteboard markers, eraser, student list and air-con remote on the table in the next classroom, have a pee, fill ones water bottle and get the teaching material for the next class off my desk.
Perhaps have half a cigarette, spies and the centre manager are patrolling the coridoors with a stopwatch clicking times on the 'foreign' Teachers, just panting for an excuse to counsel the Laowai for 'being late to class, they complain'. The level of discontent among the 'foreign' Teachers is at a record high.
We have an excellent Trade Union Representative who is eager to incite us to leave. Don't need much provocation for me mate. I am ready to go as soon as I line up an/a alternate gig/s. Leaves will swirl in my wake. We're even talking about a bet on our newest Part-time 'Foreign' Teacher's longevity.
Get out of the lift on the ground floor and hear that chilling word "Xiayu" from some of the other students lingering *blocking* the doorway to the street. Fuck. RAIN.
Unzip the backpack, rummage for the folding umbrella that I ALWAYS carry.
"What are you doing ?" asks one male student.
"Getting my umbrella !"
"Oh" (Thought bubble : Guess I should follow suit....maybe.... for days like this.....So clever.....)
Flop it out, extend it, fold down the errant petals seeking to become an inverted umbrella, and stride off chirpily in the rain, whilst the rest cower on the ground flower and grumble.
Go down to the most likely location to get a vacant taxi - in the pouring rain. Black Santana pulls up right in front of me, driver chatting on a mobile phone. Fuck ya, I chose this site for maximum taxi visibility.
He finishes his phone call, then starts calling me. Looks around briefly, then yells "Where do you want to go ?"
Illegal, "black" Taxi.
Me : "Xing Han Jie, Jia Cheng Hua Yuan, Zhe dou ma ?"
Him : "Zhe dou"
Me : "Shi Wu kuai, hao bu hao ?" (15 Chinese Yuan)
Him: "Arshe Kuai ?" 20 ?
Me: Hmmmmm, it's pissing down with rain, buggered if I am going to ride my electric bike back home and get soaked *again*. Chances of getting a legitimate taxi are getting slimmer by the second. Rain is now starting to fall in BIG heavy droplets. I want to go home.
"Hou de" (OK). Bird in the hand stuff.... Anyway, I rationalise that it's less than $3.50 Australian. Taxi flag-fall is $4 there !
Hop in, huge traffic jam on Gan Jiang Dong Lu.Not 5 minutes, but 25 minutes. Couple of prangs, you know, 2 out of 3 lanes are out of use until the cops come and sort out a car kiss that would cost less than a grand both ways to fix, unlike in Oz when we both pull into a side street to avoid inconveniencing other motorists and have a civil discussion, apologise and exchange details, confirmed by an exchange of drivers licences to confirm details.
Unless there is road rage with handguns and tyre levers.
That's not civil.
Hell, even shake hands, maybe have a cup of coffee together and "regret the mutual inconvenience". Sort of like a Warner Brothers Chip'n'Dale episode. Ohhhh, not here. No F**king way.
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Anyway, strange things pop into my head when I am standing street-side in China while waiting for a taxi - in the rain under an umbrella, smoking. Thoughts of the past.
I have a story that might be very inconvenient for some people. Many stories, in fact. They come later.
I hinted at Brigadier-Jenderal (correct) H. in Indonesia in my previous blogs. I was once invited to do a security review of Indonesia's Naval Headquarters in Jakarta.
Primary security involved infra-red beam anti-climb wall protection. Secondary security was Naval guards checking everyone who wanted to meet with so-and-so at the guard gate. So-and-so would be called to verfiy an appointment or duty. Go/no go.
Tertiary security was Naval Security guards wandering around with guns, with the right to demand stamped ID and entrance permits.
Quartenary level of security was guards and clerks on the ground floor of the building, documenting the to and fro of folks.
To display my "excellence as an an engineer"... HAH!.
I got one of these security devices
and hooked up an oscilloscope (shows wave forms and frequency on a tiny TV screen) and built a hand-held device that mimicked the frequency and wave form of the Infra-red transmitter and receiver.
Jamieson has a wealth of surprising skills, sort of a MacGuyver in 2007.
Picture flying a Huey Chopper at 17 witha REAL helicopter pilot in the laft seat, Cessna 172 at 17 (same) and a heavy Orion C3 Surveillance plane for 30 minutes taking pictures (same). Student Pilot licence at 17. Braggart.
Gees, it's heavy ! (The Orion)
No.
Now I just want to teach at kindertens!!!! I'm now a grandfather.
I even got the office boy to pass through and scale a wall as a terr***** with a **mb.
This schematic diagram is for a home intrusion Infra-red beam breaking system, but the principles are the same, but this one uses a single frequency to modulate the Infra-red trasmitting LEDs.
Twenty, Thirty Bucks.
I designed and made a better one. Tested it, works fine. I guess I am stupid and require counselling. Since I am unworthy.
Subsequent projects include :
100 Line Laser Fences with Frequency hopping modulation and co-ordinated reception using microprocessors, to stop jamming liking Parko, the village trained office boy, the super-sophisticated terrorist did with my $10 device.
Yeah I designed and built frequency hopping modulated laser fence systems, random frquencies, with extra-ordinary security on cabinet opening : PIN numbers required to open, then PIN numbers required to turn off the lasers.
Also designed and built frequency hopping HF SSB radios for our friends.
I can devise alternate Infra-red and ultra-violet laser targets for "smart bombs" , blinding the vision. Pumping out a shit load of UV, Infra-red targets, fake targets.
Eat that Pave-Tac ! Way out-dated, but who knows what cheapish countermeasures gets a sandhill blown up instead of *them* ?
However, A GPS based cruise missile doesn't make mistakes. Damn ! Oh, wait !
GPS jamming ! Sure, I can do that ! Ah, no, they also have Inertial Guidance Systems as a back-up. Damn. That's a hard one to beat.
OK, the only way is super-intense electro-magnetic fields to scramble on-board computers. That will cost a lot !
Cruise missile disablement with these systems have to act within microseconds due to the speed.
Hardly practical.
OK, that leaves us with the fantastic DREAD weapon and a very unpredictable, erratic radar system linked to Dread.
Oh, did I forget to tell you ? Australians designed and built this, Microwave ovens and Ultrasound for starters.
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Made it in my back yard shed, I was bored on a Sunday afternoon, so I made this. Lawn-mower would not start (bugger), so I cracked a tinny (drank a beer) and built this fucker on the vice in the shed. It was done by sunset. Tested it, ran out of ammo in .328 seconds.
Hell of a mess on the backyard fence, glad there was no-one walking nearby.
Just for laughs, see how much I could astonish the Yanks.
"Beryl, I have just made a machine gun that fires 2,000 bullets a second !"
Beryl says "Do you want choko or beans with ya chops ?"
"Ahhhh, beans luv... but I...."
"I know you are clever Darl, but clever does not put food on the table. Go and watch the telly, I will call you when it is ready."
This is a long one, so be prepared.
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According to the
DREAD Advantages Sheet, "unlike conventional weapons that deliver a bullet to the target in intervals of about 180 feet, the DREAD's rounds will arrive only 30 thousandths of an inch apart (1/32nd of an inch apart), thereby presenting substantially more mass to the target in much less time than previously possible.
" This mass can be delivered to the target in 10-round bursts, or the DREAD can be programmed to deliver as many rounds as you want, per trigger-pull. Of course, the operator can just as easily set the DREAD to fire on full-auto, with no burst limiter. On that setting, the number of projectiles sent down range per trigger-pull will rely on the operator’s trigger control.
Even then, every round is still going right into the target. You see, the DREAD's not just accurate, it's also recoilless. No recoil. None. So, every "fired" round is going right where you aim it. "
According to its inventor, not only is it possible, it’s already happened. An updated version of the weapon will be available soon. It will arrive in the form of a tactically-configured pre-production anti-personnel weapon firing .308 caliber projectiles (accurately) at 2,500-3000 feet per second, at a variable/programmable cyclic rate of 5,000-120,000 rpm (rounds-per-minute).
Ahh, that is uhhh, let me see (punching calculator) 2,000 bullets a second. Oh, well, that is only 2,000 bullets PER SECOND !
I am the village idiot, like the rest of us. Yes, we appear to be idiots.
I am open to offers. If they can make it, I promise I can out-smart it. Except DREAD.
That took a day. Indonesian Navy Headquarters. Wake up.
Jamieson is not a mad scientist with vials bubbling at home.
If my American Associate can do "eradication" operations in Afghanistan and "countermeasures" in Iraq...then I would like to do it, too. Not the eradication, but the supply of counter-countermeasures. If the price is right.
Just, well, you tell me. I'm just a sheepish English Teacher who does not know shit. Yeah, I just love that at job interviews.
Oh, Shinzo Abe resigned 2 days ago, did you know ? Who is he ?
China.
AM I full of shit ? Does this blog reek of shit?
OF COURSE IT DOES.
However, one day, someone is going to do a google and find that 2+2 = Jamieson, then we start a very interesting dialogue and research program.
Something a little different from squalling babies, but in the meantime, that is just fine. That is what I want.
J.
